The Ballad of Fess Parker

Born in the lowlands of the Lone Star state
His acting style was quite sedate
When Walt saw Them, he couldn't wait
To give him the role that would change his fate

It's Fess, Fess Parker
Better than James Arness

Walt cast him in the new TV show
And coonskin sales hit a new plateau
But the Crockett craze was dealt a blow
When they killed Davy off at the Alamo

Brilliant corporate planning
Twelve million kids just cried

But driving a wagon or a railroad car
He remained a favorite star
It's been years since he's kilt a b'ar
He'd rather serve you a Pinot Noir

Buy some "Fess Parker"
Available by the case

Yes, ol' Fess is the man…He's a big man
His fame is transcendent
We know that his legend just grows

Yes, ol' Fess is the man…He's a big man
So it just doesn't matter
That he wore the same hat for two shows

From the silver hair on the top of his head
To the toe of his six-five frame
He is a kind and generous soul
And we're so glad he came

Yes, ol' Fess is the man
He's a big man
Whether Davy or Dan'l
We'd all change the channel
To you!
Whether Davy or Dan'l
We'd all change the channel
To you!

New lyrics by Craig Hodgkins